It’s time for my favor. For you to be honest with me. Tell me three things
1. It’s time for me to move on
2. There will never be an Us again
3. You don’t love me
I need to hear this things. No matter how much it is going to hurt me. I keep finding reasons to stay single. Excuses and ways to ruin what could be something good because I can’t let go of the hope that we will get back together. I know that you aren’t in love with me still. I know you don’t ever want to get back together. Whatever we had is long gone for you. But I need you to admit it. To tell me these things. I know this will cause my heart to break even more but it breaks everyday I am not with you. You are happier without me. You are a different person. Someone I don’t really know anymore. You do things now that I never thought you could do…especially to me. But here we are, a year later and that person I used to know is completely lost to me. So stop pretending to be jealous or care if I am with someone else. Stop pretending to still love me. Let me go. And maybe one day, our paths will cross again.
A long time ago, you stole something from me. You took my innocence. You destroyed a part of me I have never been able to get back. Because of you, I have never been able to live a “normal” life and truly embrace a relationship. You caused the first crack in my foundation. Left me unable to trust. Left me scared. I had no one I could tell. There was always an excuse for everything you did in life. Every single thing you did wrong…it was never your fault. So I kept the secret. I grew with this darkness. And all it did was eat at me. Here I am, broken. You are to blame for that initial crack. That crack was just enough for the darkness to work its way inside. Have I forgiven you for the things you did? Not even in the slightest. And I will never forget.
I release you…
I release you from me.
I release you from the burden of me.
I release you from our “friendship.”
And I release you from our memories.
Go on and live your life.
Live it without me.
Live it as if you never knew me.
And live it to the fullest.
Allow yourself to love.
And to be loved.
Have a family.
And know that I loved you.
Give me answers. Closure. Reasons.
You say it was for the best. But it was for your best. For you. Not me.
You got everything out of it.
Freedom. Lust. Selfishness.
All I got was a broken heart. Tears. Loneliness.
Friends you say. HA!
I am not sure you even know what that is.
You are your number one.
You are what matters.
Everyone else is just a pawn in your game.
And yet, here I am…
Just letting you play with me.
All because I can’t walk away.
I am the fool. That is the card I play in your deck.